You wanted a blog about NYC, but you're not going to get it yet!

Mon, Nov 21, 2005
Deep Thoughts
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7 comments

I have a lot to write about my trip to NYC, and many pictures to post, too. Yes, I had fun. Yes, it was one of the best vacations I’ve ever had for several reasons. But that’s not what I want to blog about tonight. I want to blog this conversation because I need a “bookmark” that I can refer to later.

Keep in mind that I first started chatting with this guy only a few hours ago. Although we’ve known each other for quite a while, we’ve only been “Internet acquaintances” and have never chatted before. (Screen names changed to protect the innocent.)

[22:40] Me: I should just admit that I’m not really into the whole serious relationship thing… I get bored too easily.. but something in the way I grew up makes me feel guilty for thinking that way :-/
[22:41] Me: I love that first night… it’s so erotic… but I quickly get bored
[22:41] Me: After a couple months I want someone new and exciting so I can have that first moment again.
[22:43] Guy: ar you that way with jobs, too?
[22:44] Me: No, I’ve been running Simpli for 4+ years, and I’ve been full-time with it for about 18 months now
[22:44] Me: I love Simpli 🙂
[22:44] Guy: so see, if you love something it doesn’t get boring. 🙂
[22:44] Me: I haven’t had a FT job working for someone else since like 2003.
[22:44] Me: FT W2 job since 2002. 1099 since 2003
[22:45] Guy: but Simpli gives you new challenges all the time right?
[22:45] Me: Yes, it’s true… I created the company, so I can do whatever I want with it… that’s part of my passion… I can do whatever the fuck I want.. it’s a great feeling
[22:46] Me: I can sell it off for several hundred thousand dollars and just wander around the world if I really want to, at any time
[22:46] Me: Or keep working at it and make millions
[22:46] Guy: so you’re a control freak… so it would SEEM that you’d want a guy that would do whatever you want… but that’s wrong, you need a guy that you have to work at
[22:46] Guy: someone who’s as ambitious and controlling as you are.
[22:46] Guy: someone you have to work at to keep you both happy
[22:47] Me: I’ve gotta have someone who wants crazy adventures all the time too… and someone who loves traveling and seeing new places… and fucking in those new places. 😀
[22:48] Guy: EXACTLY!

And after an hour of talking to me, he pretty much summarized it. Imagine my shock that someone who didn’t even know me could so easily summarize what I wanted in a guy. Because, see, it’s not really about the car he drives, or any of that stuff (even though I’ll mercilessly tease about those sorts of things.) It’s just that I want someone who’s going to make my life new and exciting on a regular basis, and who knows when to take control and when I want to be in control. Which is a challenge, I admit. But then, I don’t think I ever said that I would be easy to please! 😉

FK says:

11/22/2005 at 6:57 am

Sorry, I don’t buy it.

I’ve been in my relationship coming up on 10 years (married for 5). Regardless of how exciting both people are, you will fall into somewhat of a routine. You can’t have excitment everyday. Sure, the beginning is fun… sure, after a while you may want the feeling of ‘the chase,’ again. But the lose of the other is too great a lose to go after those feelings again.

Your summary of ‘the perfect guy’ seems a bit off kilter for me. Seems like that highschool/college girls dream to me. I know I’m sounding like a complete ass, which I don’t intend, but don’t know how else to say it. Ask your parents about what a relationship is like after, say, 3-5 years. Then 10 years, etc…

SlashChick says:

11/22/2005 at 10:32 am

Hi FK,

I still haven’t met someone where I’d be more disappointed to lose him than I would be disappointed if I didn’t chase after “the other guy.” This would seem to indicate that I haven’t met “the right person” yet. I definitely know that it’s going to be a hard match finding someone right for me, though. I’m starting to realize that it’s probably just better to enjoy being single and meeting cool guys than to try to find “the right person.” I have definitely been enjoying myself recently. 🙂

“Ask your parents about what a relationship is like after, say, 3-5 years.”

I asked my dad one time why he married my mom. He said, “I dunno. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time.” They complain about each other all the time. Doesn’t exactly seem like a match made in heaven to me.

“Seems like that highschool/college girls dream to me.”

I’ve never met a high school or college girl who said that. Most of them wanted to settle down and get married ASAP so they could start popping out kids. That’s just never really appealed to me, y’know?

kesuki says:

11/22/2005 at 2:13 pm

sound like your perfect guy– is yourself coloned and gender switched 😉

and i understand where your perspective of ‘normal’ girls wanting to settle down and raise babies etc comes from, but really that isn’t all that normal. it’s more like a default answer someone who’s had all the dreams of a better life crushed out of them might expect from life.

in other words you’re not hearing what they really want, but what they expect they’ll be able to get from life…

James says:

11/23/2005 at 4:31 am

“Iâ€™ve never met a high school or college girl who said that. Most of them wanted to settle down and get married ASAP so they could start popping out kids.”

Sounds like the wrong kind of school, then 🙂 I don’t think popping out kids ASAP was very high up the list of priorities for the girls I knew, anyway.

Kesuki: “cloned”, I take it? I was wondering where the colon came in, trying to see a pun about slash and colon…

LarLudwig says:

11/23/2005 at 8:43 am

When you find your partner in life… you just know. I never thought I would find my wife but I did. It just flows and make sense.

Ziviyr says:

11/24/2005 at 1:30 am

Hehe, problem is that a gender flipped clone would be an incest issue. That and having to change her boyfriend’s diapers might be great the first night, but she’ll quickly get bored. (…or are we talking a teleporter accident type clone?)

Travoltus says:

11/24/2005 at 3:49 am

Ok, I see what the hoopla is.

Slashchick wants the thrill of the chase and the ‘newness’ of a relationship, you know, that new car smell and all that. Mind you the new car smell is due to chemicals that mess with your health (as new studies show). But anyways. She also likes an adventurous guy. Nothing odd about that.

FK is right and wrong; in the long term he’s right, but what he’s not seeing is that for now, SlashChick is young and has some adventuring to do and some experience in life to achieve.

What I expect to see next is a bunch of guys trying to tell her she needs to settle down. This, no doubt, coming from the kind of guys who themselves want that ‘new car smell’ experience with women and who are out partying and doing wild stuff. Kesuki, no offense intended, sounds like the perfect lead-in intro for the crowd of men who would post after him – the kind who want to be wild but don’t like wild women demeaning their own sense of ‘manliness.’ I’m not saying Kesuki’s like that, but the next bunch probably will echo him and turn up the moral heat. I’ve worked with guys like that all my life.

As a guy I’ve wanted to settle down even as a teenager, but alas it took me until my 30s to find Ms (now Mrs) Right. I know other guys like me who are now in their 40s and who are having a VERY active and acute midlife crisis of wanting to be adventurous after having avoided it their entire lives. Very bad things inevitably ensue, starting with marital infidelity and ending with very bad injuries trying to do physical activities their bodies are no longer able to handle.

I address my adventurous needs with charity work… it also doesn’t hurt that my wife and I have a concierge virtual assistant service that does deliveries… last week’s trip to Reno was … interesting…!

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