Nooooooo…

Okay. This is really frustrating. I had this awful bacterial infection a couple of weeks ago, and I went off the antibiotics on 3/4. On 3/5 I became really sick again, with a sore throat, hacking cough, fever that lasted 3 days, and pure freakin’ exhaustion. (Oh, and I remember commenting to my parents that my eyelids were puffy and swollen.)

I figured it was just a cold or flu and that I needed about a week to recover. It has now been 10 days and the fatigue is not getting any better. I talked to a friend earlier today who went through a bout of mono a few months ago, and he suggested that I might have mono. Something finally connected in me tonight, and I searched the Web for “mono symptoms”, only to discover that I have every single one of them. Let’s see: “Early on, vague complaints of ‘not feeling well,’ headache, tiredness, chilliness, puffy eyelids, and decreased appetite are common. Later, fever, sore throat, and swollen lymph glands at the side and back of the neck, and also under the arm and in the groin may appear.” Yep, got all of those, except I’m not sure about the swollen lymph glands, but I feel like I have a lump in my throat. I haven’t felt like eating in well over a week; in fact, I can remember the last day I had an appreciable appetite, and that was back in Indiana. And oh my fucking God, am I tired. I mean, so tired that I have over $4300 in checks to deposit from customers, I need to make those deposits to make payroll on the 20th, and I have not had the energy to go to the bank and freaking deposit them. That’s how tired I am. So tired that I can’t get out of bed in the morning, which is so completely unlike me that it would totally rattle me if I had the energy to care about it.

The ironic thing is I haven’t kissed anyone in quite a while, so I honestly have no idea where I got it. I haven’t seen my friend who had it since December; we’ve only talked online since then. Somewhere else? Who knows. And maybe I don’t have it. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow to get the blood test for it. I’m so freaked out about needles and blood tests that it has to be really bad for me to even consider going, but damned if I am not so exhausted that I don’t even care what happens as long as I have energy again. I hate waking up feeling so beat. This is terrible. I feel like a walking zombie.

I’ll post the results of the blood test tomorrow. Whatever this is — whether it’s mono or not — I should know tomorrow. That alone makes me feel somewhat better. Oh, and for those who are curious, I’ve never had mono before.