Well, I wrote in this blog last week when I was feeling down, so I feel it’s time to write again and say I’m feeling better.

This is not to say that I am 100% better. I am still going through depression and a lot of loneliness. I think I figured out a good enough solution, though… one that I’d like to share with you all, since I know that some of you are going through the same thing (if my IM conversations of late are any indicator.)

I’d been with FG for so long that I mostly forgot what it was like to do things on my own. See, the thing that you have to remember about me is that I’m perennially lazy. If I can call someone else and say “What are we doing tonight/tomorrow/this weekend?”, I will. I was so used to that that it came as a real shock to me to not have FG or someone else around to get me out of the house. If someone else doesn’t get me out of the house, I won’t ever leave (see the laziness part above), and then I get depressed.

Of course, I told all my friends this in a really roundabout way, and the answers I got back were all of the form “You need a hobby that doesn’t involve a computer.” Since my wrists were telling me the same thing, I decided everyone else was right and, since no one else was offering, I’d go find a hobby myself. That’s when I made the decision to do kung fu, since no one else I know does martial arts.

I visited the kung fu place last night and signed up for a month. The practices are Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. They are all optional, but they recommend that you go at least twice a week to get the full benefit. I will go tomorrow for the first time.

I plotted out my days. The weekends are the worst, since there’s not as much work to do and everyone else is out doing fun things. So I immediately scheduled activities for Saturday and Sunday: Saturday is kung fu and Sunday is church (which I actually really enjoy.) Monday and Wednesday is kung fu. Tuesday is IBI. The best part is that all of these activities are technically optional, so if something fun does come up, I don’t have to miss it. But if there’s nothing fun, I can go do these things. That works for me (and probably for my wrists too, as they have been hurting significantly less in the past few days since I’ve been taking it easier on the computer.)

My local friends are realizing I don’t have much to do, either, so I have been getting more invites to parties and such (Andrew, I’ll try to make it to yours in SF; thanks for inviting me!)

I feel much better about myself. I’ve gotten out of the habit of depending on other people to find things for me to do, which honestly is probably a burden they didn’t need. 😉 I’ve found things to do myself that are fun and that I will enjoy. And I find myself having somewhat more self-confidence as well. (I think I’ve finally made it almost 24 hours without breaking down and crying.)

Things are getting better.

Thought I should post some updates here:

1) Wells Fargo line of credit. For those of you who are interested, this is a SBA-backed line. Having SBA backing is great since it gets you more money at a lower interest rate. The line is for $45,000 at 7.75% interest (WOW, that is a low interest rate; my jaw about hit the floor when they told me today.) It takes 10-14 days to go through the approval process. I am told I should have it within 7 days (I’ve already been working with them for more than a week.) The coolest thing is that there’s a Mastercard attached to it. A $45,000 Mastercard. Droooool.

2) Thanks to my SBA loan, I can remove my business debt from my personal credit cards. That means my personal credit cards will be free for more interesting things… like a hot tub. 😀 (I am not having it delivered until I come back from Christmas due to electricity costs, but it should be here at the end of December.)

3) I am still getting people asking, “Who is FG?” You all know FG as G—-. G—- is his middle name. F is his first initial. Hence, FG.

4) Why did I password an earlier blog post? No, there were no nasty comments posted. A friend said it might be a good idea to password it. You can contact me off-blog for more details.

5) What happened to that customer who was using 22Mbit of bandwidth? We think his backups were running through the main network, so we’re setting him up on his own switch and drop to the backup network (assuming he doesn’t have that already; we haven’t traced all the cables yet) and we’re going to revisit this in 7-10 days. He is OK with paying more, but I actually don’t think his total will go all the way to $1600+ a month. We’ll see once we get his cables rerouted and his switch online.

6) I’m headed back to IBI in 10 days (IBI starts on the 12th.) I am going straight from LA (where IBI is) to Indiana (where my parents are.) I am coming back on Tuesday the 28th in the evening. There will probably be very few blog updates in these 2+ weeks.

7) I am still working on my new book. I do not think it will be published for at least a few years, but you guys will be the first to know when it is. 🙂

8) Watch for two new Simpli subsidiary companies to come out no later than 1/31/2005. Yes, both of them will be online by then. Believe me. This loan made it possible and I intend to use it to the fullest degree.

I’ve been thinking for a while that I want to take classes in something that would be really different. Now, I have certain life goals I’d like to meet, like learning how to play the piano. But I’d also like to know something very different from anything any of my friends have studied.

I started researching some different things on the Internet tonight; things that are aligned with my current goals of 1) getting out of the house at least once a week and 2) getting some exercise. I’ve decided I’m going to go check out a local kung fu place tomorrow night!

Am I crazy?

Well, I’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose! I don’t know if kung fu or martial arts would be the right thing for me, but it surely can’t hurt to go once and check it out. If it seems cool, I can enroll for a month ($80.) Kung fu requires a somewhat larger commitment than most programs, but it also teaches self-discipline, self-defense, and higher goals of being one with everything else in the world. Who knows whether this will go any farther than tomorrow night. If it doesn’t, I’ll continue to search for something that’s right for me. If it does, I’ve found a new hobby! 😀

Well, I woke up today to great news. (Actually, no, the phone call that woke me up was a dedicated server customer who was having DNS issues.) But right after that, I got a call from Wells Fargo. I’d previously applied for a line of credit for Simpli, and I had been anxiously awaiting for a call back. I got that call today, and great news! Simpli has been preliminarily (say that 5 times fast) apppproooooooooooooooved! for a $45,000 line of credit.

I have many things planned with the line of credit, but first and foremost it means I get to pull all the business debt out of my personal credit cards. Secondly, it means getting an office sometime in early 2005 (Brandon will benefit most from that; I’m used to working from home by now) and it also means signing that big contract with AboveNet for our bandwidth upgrade.

I should probably mention at this point that I fully expect Simpli to be in the red for 1-2 months while we get our new services cranked out. This line of credit was the break I’ve been looking for for a long time. Now I can finally roll new services out without having to worry about bleeding cash for a couple months. The revenue stream this opens up for us is definitely worth it.

We’re also signing a contract for true 24×7 support with response times defined by an SLA (most likely 1 hour no matter what time you submit the ticket), so that’s good news for all of our customers. This will also include 24×7 phone support, although we will continue to discourage calling on the phone (it’s just not an organized or efficient way to do support.)

More than double our 2004 revenue in 2005? That’s where I’m setting my goals, and this loan will make it possible. Bring it on!

Right here!